Beware of Orange People With Toupees

Actual Remarks From Wanted Notice From the FBI ....

"He was known to wear a pompadour style toupee and tan his skin to an orange hue."

DESCRIPTION

Date of Birth Used:  August 3, 1947     Hair:     Brown
Place of Birth: Hoboken, New Jersey     Eyes:     Brown
Height: 5'10"     Sex:     Male
Weight: 150 pounds     Race:     White
NCIC: W721086845     Nationality:     American
Occupation:     Lawyer


Scars and Marks:     Cody has a scar on his shoulder. He is missing the tip of a finger.
  
Remarks: Cody reportedly does not have tear glands, and uses eye drops constantly. He was known to wear a pompadour style toupee and tan his skin to an orange hue. Cody spent time in the Philippine Islands.
Cody graduated from the University of Virginia in 1969, and was awarded his Juris Doctorate degree from Harvard Law School in 1972. He served in the United States Army as a Captain in Military Intelligence. Cody traveled extensively and speaks Italian and Tagalog. From 1980 to 1984, Cody practiced law at his own firm in Sierra Vista, Arizona.

CAUTION

John Donald Cody is wanted for allegedly conducting fraudulent activities involving the misuse of funds. It is alleged that between May and August of 1984, Cody committed the following acts: stole funds from probate estates' bank accounts and purchased nearly $100,000 in traveler's checks which he transported from Arizona to Virginia; submitted to a Virginia investment brokerage firm a false name on forms which were used to identify taxpayers subject to withholding taxes; made false statements to a Virginia bank for the purpose of obtaining a loan for approximately $25,000; and illegally attempted to obtain bank loans under various alias identities.

On May 4, 1987, a federal warrant was issued for the arrest of Cody by the United States District Court, Eastern District of Virginia. This warrant was based on charges initiated by the Internal Revenue Service for interstate transportation of fraudulent travelers' checks from probate estates' bank accounts, false statements to an investment brokerage firm, and false statements on loan applications.

REWARD

The FBI is offering a reward of up to $50,000 for information leading to the arrest of John Donald Cody.
IF YOU HAVE ANY INFORMATION CONCERNING THIS PERSON, PLEASE CONTACT YOUR LOCAL FBI OFFICE OR THE NEAREST AMERICAN EMBASSY OR CONSULATE.
signature of Robert S. Mueller, III

Getting Wiggy With It

I am 95% confident we are looking at the Pompadour toupee, 5% chance it's a sea otter

Help! I'm being crushed by my toupee!

No, No Toupee For Me

Why do men where toupees? A toupee is a ridiculous piece of fake hair that only fools the fool who wears it. I see countless numbers of middle-aged and old men walking around with these silly hair hats, and for what reason?

If you’re covered in liver spots and have bulging stomach … do you really think that that silly looking dead animal glue to your head is going to get a young woman interested in you?

This blog is dedicating to outing these men so that they can be free from this debacle of delusion. As a bit of self disclosure I have to tell you that I myself am going bald you’re my grandfather was bald and my brother is going bald so I imagine it’s just a matter of time for I become one of those chrome domes. But I will never wear a toupee. I will never wear a toupee. Sure I might wear a baseball cap or don a bandanna, but I will never wear a toupee.

I honestly hope that somebody who is thinking about wearing a toupee stumbles across this blog and it helps him change his mind. The trouble with starting to wear a toupee is that eventually you’ll get sick of wearing it in maintaining but feel compelled to continue holding this travesty to your scalp – because you you’re afraid people will laugh at you when they realize that you’ve been wearing a toupee all this time. Uh, duh. They’ve been laughing at you all this time.

Really they are. I think one of the reasons that old men think they are getting away with wearing a toupee is that no one says anything to them. When you were kid if you wore a stupid looking jacket or carried the wrong kind of school bag to school your friends quickly ridicule you right to your face. The jacket would go into the back of the closet and you tell your mom that you lost your school bag. But when you’re flabby little aged guy wearing a wig most other adults will just gossip about you behind your back and give you a nice smile to your face. Unless your friends are idiots, they know you’re wearing a wig.

Toupee or Not Toupee?

Our first inductee is Rand Paul. Does Rand Paul wear a toupee? NO! He's raising chinchilla on his head. I found this image on http://www.rumproast.com/index.php/site/comments/son_of_paul_the_questioning/.

What do you think? Is it a toupee or not?